Hey Chaimie, how do you like Trump’s “schlonged” comment re: Hillary? He’s one of us, I told you!

Hey Leizy, I suppose he is, if you mean he’s an anti-Semite 🙁

eli-avatarAre you jk?… One of his comments was that he wants the people counting his money to wear those beanies on their heads. What greater honour could there be?

jamie-avatarGee, I dunno – maybe electing the first Jewish American president, as opposed to a New Yorker who enjoys helping with the continued massacre of the Yiddish language?

eli-avatarMassacre? You’re totally getrumped… See, even his NAME is Yiddish… Schlong is clearly a German snake (or is that Merkel?)

jamie-avatarBITE my German snake.  You’re joking, right? You’re not actually into this guy?

jamie-avatarAt a campaign fundraiser for N.Y. Jews, he referred to us as “You people,” with barely veiled references to “us” being “good negotiators”… Now, don’t get me wrong here – we are good –  the best! – but HE can’t say that!

eli-avatarBut that’s his beauty. He speaks what’s on his mind. He’s fearless. He’s like Jesus, if Jesus were the opposite of Jesus in every other capacity… Look, you know the old presidential test of who would you rather sit down for a beer with. Who would you rather sit down with for smoked meat? Of course it’s Trump!… Bernie might be vegan for all we know (And meanwhile Hillary has a “ham” in her maiden name). Face it: Trump is going to make Yiddish great again!

jamie-avatarYou know who IS like Jesus? Bernie farkakter Sanders, the socialist, the Shalom Achshavnik, the defender of the poor, who CLEARLY doesn’t give a shoyt about “appearances,” his hair or otherwise. He’s a kibbutznik, for Chrissake! And you’re pro-Donald, Shallow Be His Name. Typical you. you.

eli-avatarWould you put a kibbutznik in charge of a country? Breakfast, maybe, but that’s it.

jamie-avatarLook, I admit their not known for their cuisine, but they built Israel up from nothing, and that’s what America needs right now, a builder. Not a gambler (who’s own casinos go broke)…

jamie-avatarthey’re*

jamie-avatarwhose*

eli-avatar(It’s OK – you don’t need to correct anything. In the world of Trump, nothing you write or say ever needs to get corrected. It’s a mechayeh!)… Look, I think you’ve been spending too much time getting “gefiltered” at Phish concerts, Bern-ing a few too many in a Green Mountain state on one of your usual “cross-border shopping” trips and you’ve lost touch with your roots.

eli-avatarThe Donald, who, by the way, I now prefer to call The Dovid – full name, Dovid Trompldik – may not be perfect, he may not be nice, he may not even be a good businessman, but since we’re hip to go back to trends like beards and mutton chops, why can’t we go back to political incorrectness and infantile “my dad will beat up your dad” talk? Also, do you SEE the way he repeatedly repeats the word China? It’s like he’s a shmatte maven, cursing them out.

jamie-avatarI can see how you appreciate him as the more “Judaic” candidate (albeit not the more Jewish), as he is a classic misogynist and xenophobe, like most of the ancient Israelites.

eli-avatarThere you go again, epikoyres! When the Dovid has spoken, there will be a registry of anti-Semites like you. And your name will be in capital letters.

jamie-avatarBaruch hashish

eli-avatarWha?

jamie-avatarDucking autocorrect

eli-avatarDucking indeed.

jamie-avatarGey duckin in yam!